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 I'm Nigella Farage, curious spawn of
 well-known prattle-monger Nigel. I have
 a kitchen, and I have to make several
 gallons of gravy for daddy's train
 which he likes to moan about until he
 goes pink in the face.

 So I always give him his gravy in a
 boat, and he laps it up like a hungry
 cat. I don't know why the boat is good,
 and the train is bad, but that's daddy.

 Next week, we have Mr Junker round for
 tea, and I'll be making him a thin
 consumme out of an anemic chicken.
 That'll teach him.