Michael Gove

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 gh41|b% Half-fish, half-frog Michael
 *||y|>  Gove here! I'm the Government's
 jwtpv•  expert on experting! I know all
  {=9•1  you need to know, and less!
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 Why waste your time looking stuff up,
 or asking someone who knows, for an
 answer, when you can get it all from
 a friend in a pub?

 Or if, like me, you have no friends,
 then MAKE ONE UP! That's what I do, and
 I almost became leader of the Tories!

 Anyway, that's enough from me. I'm off
 to collect a million pounds for my
 "expert" opinion in the papers!

 I love my life. I live in a bowl full
 of water, and Sarah Vine feeds me!